Genetic Testing. Terminations And Such.

Thank God for this blog. This may be one of my more controversial entries. So, you've been warned. 

Here I am, 9 weeks away from our first insemination and I started doing research. Well, let's face it, being AMA (Advance Maternal Age) has the potential to bring issues. I'm not negating the fact. While I don't buy into "across the board" stats...I am one to do my homework and I'm kind of a research nerd. This can be a blessing and a curse. 

With that being said, I stumbled across a forum, while researching the MaterniT21 genetic screening, and some of the ladies on there were either contemplating or had already opted to terminate their pregnancy because of genetic testing/screening (yes, there is a difference) results. It was like the train-wreck I had to watch. Bad Move. 

Then....I check my blog roll and one of the wonderful ladies who I stalk on the regular received news today that based on SST screening, her baby has a 1:15 chance of having downs. She's currently 16 weeks. Fcuk!

As I watch things unfold from the outside looking in I see so many sides to this issue. You have some who take the position, "It's my kid so regardless of the results It won't make a difference in terms of me keeping my baby!" Then I see the, "If it's a diagnosis we can't deal with as a family we will opt to terminate." And then...I see those people who currently have kids with downs who get angry when people say things like, "normal kids" or "so happy my results came back that my baby is normal/fine." 

 

This gives me so much to digest. All at once. It's like, I try to see where everyone is coming from and then without judgment attempt to understand. Even if I don't agree. I attempt to understand. Even at the end of the dialogue....I still don't. I think it's really wack to not at least try to see life from a different lens. No matter how different the view may be. 

What I read today in that forum really has me thinking. Thinking how small my world is in terms of the decisions some people have to make. How heavy life and decisions can be at times. It makes me feel sheltered in a sense. Thankful...but sheltered. I can't imagine being in those shoes. I can't imagine being in the shoes of judgment either. I wouldn't want to. I pray I don't. 

So, what's the plan for my family? Because of my age (36 soon to be 37) I plan on getting the NT scan, the MaterniT21, 2nd trimester screenings and any available non-invasive blood work. The only way I will opt for the amnio is IF there is a damn good reason why I need it. 

Will the results in the early screenings determine how I proceed? I don't know. Would I terminate if the results were grim? I don't know. Am I getting the testing done to make a decision one way or the other? I don't know. My Point...I'm a firm believer that until you are presented with circumstances.... with a real life decision to make....you don't really know how you will respond or what your strengths/weakness will be. You can assume based on your current situation or based on what you think you will do but in my opinion you just never know until you are sitting in those shoes, hearing that news and then forced to decided. I can tell you how I think I would respond if placed in that situation but that could very well change. I respect those individuals on every side of the issue. 

Life is crazy man. I never knew some of these things even existed until starting on this ttc journey. Sometimes I wish I didn't know some of the things I do know about what could go wrong....Fcuk. Again.