"Okay God....We are down to 8 weeks now, wassup?!"

Today I've decided to totally submerge myself spiritually as I prepare for the journey I'm about to take. The focus...my spirituality & prayer life. I'm one who believes that before making major decisions you must first spend some quality time focusing on God, His Will and your spiritual relationship with him. Now, while I know that some of my blog followers do not accept or believe in what I believe in, which is Jesus....this is my space to document MY journey and I won't be offended if you opt to exit this post. Because that is exactly what this post will be about. My faith.

Now, for all of your who have decided to read on, thank you. Thank you for understanding that sometimes as bloggers our entries just need to be raw, transparent and without caring what the reader may think or feel. This is therapy in a sense for many of us and this is a safe space to be who we are as individuals outside of the TTC stuff.

Back to the purpose for this post. I've been struggling folks. Well, not really struggling because I do feel at peace about it but I would be a liar if I said I don't still have my moments where I'm like, "Okay God...there are now exactly 8 weeks until we inseminate so if you're gonna open a door for a new job for me NOW is the time to do it!" Mommy N and I agreed that if nothing comes thru for me on the job front....we will insem as planned the last week in September beginning of October. Some days I don't even log on the job search website. Other days I'm filling out like 3-4 applications like a determined unemployed person that needs to find a job asap! Mind you...I do this AT work. Smh

I guess it's weird. I pray that God gives me the strength to deal. With it all. The pregnancy, the job stuff, the journey...it ALL! This is one of those times where I really have to surrender it all. I have to let go of trying to figure things out, make things make sense, be in control of everything, understand everything....in order to maintain my sanity, I've got to.

Now, what I do know is that time tells all. Either I will be on a new job come next month or I will be allowing my wife to insert sperm. Either way...I'm okay with it because I will know that THAT is the path I am supposed to be on...at that time. I find peace that God already knows what the outcome will be and has worked it all out in my favor. I just have to walk along the path of my life and be okay...........

I did apply for a few more jobs so we shall see what happens. If nothing comes thru, I will officially be in the September-October TTC club. Wowzers!!!!!!!