Smile! Oh. Wait. What about a new job?

After several negative smiley's on CD3, CD6, CD9 & CD10.....I woke up on CD12 and decided to take another test. Its official, we have a smile! I was so shocked and excited. I went straight into the bedroom and showed my wife. We high-fived and laughed. lol

 

While we are not planning on actually starting our baby making journey for #2 until October it was a relief to see that little smiling face. Oh, and my wife gave me some prenatals to start but I'm going to hold off on taking them until next month. No real reason why...just feel like June is a good month.

 

That leads me into the next concern. Looking for a new job. I feel like I've put ttc off for so many reasons for so many years and at 36 soon to be 37 I cannot continue to do that. I graduated with my Masters Degree two days ago and looking for a new job, paying more $ in the field I love is a priority for me right now.

I know I'm planning on ttc but I also need to find another job. I'm concerned about starting a new job knowing I want to be pregnant before the end of the year. I feel bad because it feels like I'm not being honest with perspective employers. Of course I'm not going to divulge that information if I do get an interview or the job. I won't tell them until I am at least 12 weeks. So I feel like I'm not being fair or that I'm hiding something from them.

But then it's like....what about time off? When I'm sick and don't feel like going to work? Time off for appointments? Maternity leave and benefits? Stress of starting a new job while pregnant? It's just SO much to consider! UGH! But one thing I do know is that I cannot continue to worry about things I do not and cannot control. I cannot control when I get pregnant or when I find a new job or any of the other aspects above.

I can only pray that God works it all out for me. He already knows the answers to the questions and I just have to trust in His process and Trust that he has everything already worked out for my good. Yes, it would be easier for me just to stay at my current job where I have seniority, lots of leave time and flexibility....but I'm ready to advance and make more money to provide for my new family. It's so tricky and sometimes I feel like if I had just had a baby before now I wouldn't have to worry about these issues. Oh well....it must not have been in my plan so I will just continue to journey on..........

 

Sidebar: I love that I started this journal. It's my private space to get my feelings out in the open. Sounds kinda contradictory but its therapy......