Last night some friends of ours who are actively TTC came over to borrow our Fertility Monitor after AF showed up for them yesterday. The urgency of K&K jumping in their car late in the evening to get our magical monitor reminded me so much of my wife and I when we were TTC. You do whatever it takes to catch the egg and see those two pink lines! I know how it feels to pray but yet put your hope in these little devices to create a miracle. They have been trying for several months now so I hope our monitor brings them success. It would actually be kinda cool to know our monitor resulted in yet another rainbow baby.
That leads me into this entry....sooooo, yeah......when I found out they were coming to get the fertility monitor I pulled all of our baby making devices out the hall closet to make sure everything was there. I saw the CBE Smiley and thought..........let me just see if something happens when I insert a urine stick. I went into the kitchen while Mommy N was giving Baby C a bath, grabbed a cup...pee'd and inserted in the downstairs bathroom. Now, I knew nothing would appear because I am still on my cycle but I guess I just wanted to see if something would appear, even if it was just a circle. Of course I'm not ovulating but it was kinda exciting to get the rush while waiting for something to appear in the window. I ran into the bathroom and showed my wife and her response was, "when did you pee?!" lol I'm sure she wasn't expecting that at all.
Observation - when it was Mommy N's turn....we were so over the moon excited about every little thing that happened. But this time for me, it kinda got overshadowed by bath time. I know the second time around won't be as intense or as big of a deal, well not at this stage anyway, but I just want things to be exciting and big for me as well. I don't want my experience TTC to always be diluted with everything else going on in our lives. I know we have Baby C and we aren't technically trying yet but I do want the same enthusiasm and excitement about my journey as we were for her journey. I would feel sad if that didn't happen. It kinda goes along the lines of being in a relationship with someone that has already had kids or experienced pregnancy and birth... but it's your first time. They have to be mindful not to spoil or ruin the excitement and newness of it all for you. Although I'm sure they don't do it intentionally....they still need to be mindful. I know my wife will become fully engaged as we enter into the months of actively trying. She is my biggest support and I know she will have a sense of compassion for me that no one else will. I'm just thankful that neither of us had kids outside of our union. I'm also thankful that we share these new experiences with each other for the first time. I'm excited to go through this again with my wife. I want to give her a son. I'm sure as time goes on she will be just as crazy about the possibility of getting me pregnant as I was with her.
But for now....I celebrate the fact that last night I had a big moment in my own personal journey of ttc. Even if it was just a circle. It meant a lot to me and was a big deal...........
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