TTC: Making a Rainbow Baby = Donor and Timing

Our donor has completed his medical workup. There are only 2 tests still pending & we should have them in a week. We won't need the sickle cell screening this time because we had him tested with Baby C {he's not a carrier} and neither am I.

Me: "OMG...5 weeks til "hell week!" Are you ready?! {hell week is what we call insemination week because he always complained about the preseed feeling like he was rubbing his man parts with razor blades. Ahahahahaaaa! He hated using preseed as lube but we wanted to make sure our little swimmers were not damaged by regular lube.}
Him: "Wow! I really hope it takes the first time and I hope ya'll get your boy!"

Can I tell ya'll I LOVE our donor. We made the best choice ever and it truly is such a relief! We've heard so many horror stories about known donors but ours is the BEST! Throughout the whole process with Baby C he was compliant and reliable. From hell week inseminations, to legal stuff with our second-parent adoption. We scheduled appointments, he was there. We needed something notarized, he was there. The whole process for us was stress free and smooth. I thank God for that. 

I have an appointment scheduled with the RE on September 16th. Not sure why I need to actually see her for the pro.gestrone prescription but I am secretly hoping she does an ultrasound that day just so I can see how my follies and eggs are doing. We leave for vacation the following week and then we insem so having an ultrasound done on that visit would be beneficial. If I start my cycle on the 3rd of September as predicted, the 16th will be CD13 and I would LOVE to see what's happening in the baby making region via ultrasound that far into my cycle. The last time we saw the RE was on July 3rd {CD10} and there was a 16mm on the left. The opk showed an extremely strong positive two days later on CD12 that month. So we shall see.......

Mommy N - She's just so tickled by the whole thing. I can tell she's getting excited and really looking forward to being on the other end of the syringe. lol I joke with her all the time that now we are pro's with insems and she's gonna knock me up the first time. She's so cute. I love her. I can't imagine going along this journey with anyone else. Thank GOD I didn't have kids with any of my ex's. *looks up at the sky - Thanks Big Guy! -winks-* 

She's such an amazing mom to Baby C and I'm so blessed to have her as my wife and my bestfriend. 

Baby C - I know I rarely speak about her in detail on this blog. Mainly because my wife has a blog and when she does blog -sarcasm font- (yes, that was shade lol) she covers Baby C news over there. I won't link her blog here because then my identity will be compromised. lol 

But yeah....Baby C is growing like a weed and my wife and I are confident that the timing is right to start TTC #2. We didn't want to take away from our daughter by adding the pressure of TTC another kid before now. We wanted to allow us time to be the mommies of ONE kid. TTC can take over your life, I'm sure some of you can relate to that....and we just wanted things to be calm and semi-back to normal before taking that journey again. Now we feel the timing is right and we are mentally and emotionally prepared to start. 

Today is CD18
My boobs are starting to get sore.
My cycle is expected in 6 days.
I have little to none cervical fluid.
One more period.....then we introduce sperm. 

TTC: It's Positive....really positive.

There are now 5 weeks until we inseminate. I tested from CD10 until this morning, CD16. The test were all negative on CD10, CD11, CD12 & CD13. However, on CD13 @ 11:30pm I tested and noticed while the test was negative it was in fact getting darker. Oh, and although it was negative {TMI Alert}....I had LOTS of ewcm. Great sign that something was gearing to happen. 

So.......

I had a VERY vivid dream the morning of CD14 that I was ovulating and my test was positive. I woke up...went to the bathroom and as I was testing and yelling into the bedroom telling my wife about the dream...I put a few drops on the test and before I could even get the whole dream/story out I saw the test line get extremely dark. I laughed. My test line was SO dark it almost looked black. Wowzers! 

I took the test in the bedroom so my wife could see it and she was like, "ohhhhh yeahhhh, let's insem today!!!" 

***TIRES SCREECH*** 

Girl BYE! I have FIVE more weeks of beer and wine drinking to do! 

Yes, I'm counting down and Yes...I'm drinking 40oz's...did I tell y'all I love beer? Oh well, yeah...I plan on spending quality time drinking my cold brews and even trying new beers! Yes, I love beer. Oh wait, I already said that. lol

-Sidebar- About us and vivid dreams....the month my wife got her BFP, we BOTH had dreams the test was positive before we tested. It was crazy because she even had a dream of how it was going to happen...with her peeing in the cup but ME actually doing the test. The month we got our BFP with Baby C, my wife pee'd in the specimen cup but came back to bed. I got up later to let the dog out...saw the urine sitting there in the bathroom and did the test. I yelled for her to come look because I thought I saw a line! She came running! Needless to say it was indeed a line and we have an amazing 5 month old now. 

Anywhoo.......I tested on CD15 @ 6:20am...still positive but not as dark as the day before (CD14). By this morning, CD16...it is negative. According to my app my cycle is expected to start in 8 more days...September 3rd. 

No word about the job as of yet so we are proceeding as planned.................if I receive any news I will be sure to update you all. Thanks again for all the encouraging words. It does help me maintain my sanity! 

TWW: Now I Wait..........

Well folks...while I was proof reading my last blog entry on Monday, the phone rang. And yep, you guessed it. A job interview. I applied for this position last month and had totally written it off. I went in for my interview on yesterday and now I wait. Waiting has never been my strong point. I have no clue how I did and I'm not going to drive myself crazy replaying my responses to those interview questions. I did the best I could and besides, I can't go back to change my answers now. 

Just when I was ready and geared up to start trying next month this comes my way. I just keep telling myself well, I did pray. And I did tell God I was only working with 8 weeks. So maybe this is it. Maybe He stepped in right on-time! Maybe it's meant for this door to open for me. Just maybe..........or maybe again, this isn't the path He has for me right now. Maybe I'm supposed to get pregnant and focus on that....and only that, void of external stress. *Le Sigh*

I'm just trying to keep myself busy and not dwell on it. Today I've thrown myself back into baby focus mode to keep my mind from obsessing over if/when my phone will ring about this job. I can't torture myself like that. What's meant to be will be. -sidebar- I feel like I'm blogging about the same ole' issue. lol Blah....But this is my journey and I know the exciting part is about to begin. Either at my new job or baby makin' for #2! 

Oh, we have a middle name for #2 if it's a boy. Mommy N and I decided this morning. lol That makes me excited and happy. So many of you out there are finding out you're having BOYS! How cool! Pleaseee send some of that blue baby dust MY way! lol 

Oh well, I'm in the TWW Job Hunters Edition. lol Ugh! TWW's suck!

Today is CD5 and I will start testing with the opk's on CD8... which is this Sunday. I've decided to test once a day at 2pm. I will test until CD14 this cycle. 

That's all for now. Please send me positive energy! I could really use it. I will update as soon as I hear...or don't hear something. 

It's Showtime, Baby! Password please....

 

 

Today is CD2

Next Period Expected: September 3rd, 2013

7 weeks til inseminations begin

------------------------------------------------------- 

 

This cycle will officially mark our "live" ovulation tracking. Up until now I have been using the dollar store cheapies to track my ovulation. Now, don't sleep on the dollar store opk's because they have been extremely accurate! In fact, when my wife got pregnant with Baby C we used the dollar store pregnancy test and the expensive ones but the dollar store test worked better! We STILL have our BFP test and it's STILL very dark and positive, mind you....Baby C will be 5 months old next week! So, needless to say I am a dollar store believer when it comes to baby making related stuff.

 

But.......now that we are actively tracking to gear up for inseminations I want to up the bar with the digital smiley opk's.  I was going to switch to the "Advance" digital opk's but the reviews were kinda mixed and not as solid as the original ones. I don't have time for the new and improved games that have glitches still yet to be worked out. No Ma'am! These things cost way too much for that! I will be ordering them from Amaz.on and hopefully we can get at least 3 cycles worth from one box. Prayerfully we won't need all three but three is a good zone to place myself in mentally. Honestly, I'm mentally prepared for 6 months of TTC before I totally start thinking my dinosour eggs have hatched and went to college! 

 

This is surreal.

 

The donor is all set for his medical work-up. I've contacted my health insurance and they will cover the Mater.niT21 at 100%. I will contact my RE before we leave for Disney in September to either come in to see her or for her to call in my prescription for the progester.one suppositories. Mommy N and I have decided we want to use them from the start. We honestly think that made the difference when we conceived Baby C. They are a messy pain in the azz and totally interfere with spontaneous sexcapades but...we know they helped sustain my wife's healthy pregnancy. The RE is on-board as per our last visit so she may just call in a prescription without seeing me.

 

 

*****Important****** When we go live with our inseminations I will be password protecting some of the blog entries to keep you all updated regarding test results etc. When that time comes the only way you will be kept in the loop is via the password. If you wanna stay connected just shoot me an email once you start seeing the protected posts and I will gladly give it to you.

 

7 weeks ya'll. SEVEN WEEKS til we start for Baby #2! OMG!

 

So many wonderful things are happening for my wife and I. Both as a married couple and for us as individuals. It's such a blessing. We take none of it for granted.

 

 

I'm still scared shytless. #Tho.

"Okay God....We are down to 8 weeks now, wassup?!"

Today I've decided to totally submerge myself spiritually as I prepare for the journey I'm about to take. The focus...my spirituality & prayer life. I'm one who believes that before making major decisions you must first spend some quality time focusing on God, His Will and your spiritual relationship with him. Now, while I know that some of my blog followers do not accept or believe in what I believe in, which is Jesus....this is my space to document MY journey and I won't be offended if you opt to exit this post. Because that is exactly what this post will be about. My faith.

Now, for all of your who have decided to read on, thank you. Thank you for understanding that sometimes as bloggers our entries just need to be raw, transparent and without caring what the reader may think or feel. This is therapy in a sense for many of us and this is a safe space to be who we are as individuals outside of the TTC stuff.

Back to the purpose for this post. I've been struggling folks. Well, not really struggling because I do feel at peace about it but I would be a liar if I said I don't still have my moments where I'm like, "Okay God...there are now exactly 8 weeks until we inseminate so if you're gonna open a door for a new job for me NOW is the time to do it!" Mommy N and I agreed that if nothing comes thru for me on the job front....we will insem as planned the last week in September beginning of October. Some days I don't even log on the job search website. Other days I'm filling out like 3-4 applications like a determined unemployed person that needs to find a job asap! Mind you...I do this AT work. Smh

I guess it's weird. I pray that God gives me the strength to deal. With it all. The pregnancy, the job stuff, the journey...it ALL! This is one of those times where I really have to surrender it all. I have to let go of trying to figure things out, make things make sense, be in control of everything, understand everything....in order to maintain my sanity, I've got to.

Now, what I do know is that time tells all. Either I will be on a new job come next month or I will be allowing my wife to insert sperm. Either way...I'm okay with it because I will know that THAT is the path I am supposed to be on...at that time. I find peace that God already knows what the outcome will be and has worked it all out in my favor. I just have to walk along the path of my life and be okay...........

I did apply for a few more jobs so we shall see what happens. If nothing comes thru, I will officially be in the September-October TTC club. Wowzers!!!!!!!

Genetic Testing. Terminations And Such.

Thank God for this blog. This may be one of my more controversial entries. So, you've been warned. 

Here I am, 9 weeks away from our first insemination and I started doing research. Well, let's face it, being AMA (Advance Maternal Age) has the potential to bring issues. I'm not negating the fact. While I don't buy into "across the board" stats...I am one to do my homework and I'm kind of a research nerd. This can be a blessing and a curse. 

With that being said, I stumbled across a forum, while researching the MaterniT21 genetic screening, and some of the ladies on there were either contemplating or had already opted to terminate their pregnancy because of genetic testing/screening (yes, there is a difference) results. It was like the train-wreck I had to watch. Bad Move. 

Then....I check my blog roll and one of the wonderful ladies who I stalk on the regular received news today that based on SST screening, her baby has a 1:15 chance of having downs. She's currently 16 weeks. Fcuk!

As I watch things unfold from the outside looking in I see so many sides to this issue. You have some who take the position, "It's my kid so regardless of the results It won't make a difference in terms of me keeping my baby!" Then I see the, "If it's a diagnosis we can't deal with as a family we will opt to terminate." And then...I see those people who currently have kids with downs who get angry when people say things like, "normal kids" or "so happy my results came back that my baby is normal/fine." 

 

This gives me so much to digest. All at once. It's like, I try to see where everyone is coming from and then without judgment attempt to understand. Even if I don't agree. I attempt to understand. Even at the end of the dialogue....I still don't. I think it's really wack to not at least try to see life from a different lens. No matter how different the view may be. 

What I read today in that forum really has me thinking. Thinking how small my world is in terms of the decisions some people have to make. How heavy life and decisions can be at times. It makes me feel sheltered in a sense. Thankful...but sheltered. I can't imagine being in those shoes. I can't imagine being in the shoes of judgment either. I wouldn't want to. I pray I don't. 

So, what's the plan for my family? Because of my age (36 soon to be 37) I plan on getting the NT scan, the MaterniT21, 2nd trimester screenings and any available non-invasive blood work. The only way I will opt for the amnio is IF there is a damn good reason why I need it. 

Will the results in the early screenings determine how I proceed? I don't know. Would I terminate if the results were grim? I don't know. Am I getting the testing done to make a decision one way or the other? I don't know. My Point...I'm a firm believer that until you are presented with circumstances.... with a real life decision to make....you don't really know how you will respond or what your strengths/weakness will be. You can assume based on your current situation or based on what you think you will do but in my opinion you just never know until you are sitting in those shoes, hearing that news and then forced to decided. I can tell you how I think I would respond if placed in that situation but that could very well change. I respect those individuals on every side of the issue. 

Life is crazy man. I never knew some of these things even existed until starting on this ttc journey. Sometimes I wish I didn't know some of the things I do know about what could go wrong....Fcuk. Again.