So, the only thing I never thought about was how I would handle my friends making plans to go on what we call "homboi rock off trips." Homeboi rock off's are once-a-year trips that are fun, crazy and usually in cities that offer an exciting gay scene. Atlanta, Houston, New York, Philly..........you get the point. We all pitch in planning every aspect of the trip. The hotel, who's gonna rent the car...the entertainment and everything. It's just our way to get away from all the hustle and grind of every day life and have fun with each other for a weekend. We are few but extremely close. I love them.
But here's the thing.................my wife and I had a BBQ for the holiday and the topic of the next homeboi rock off trip came up. One nominated Sizzle (Miami), one nominated Houston....again......Chicago and some other places. For a quick moment I felt kinda sad. I wasn't very talkative in that conversation and my mind honestly drifted off. My thoughts? I can't make plans to go because I probably won't be able to go this year. I will be pregnant and out of commission for awhile. Yeah, I felt kinda sad.
Only one of my Ace's knows that my wife and I are planning to start TTC #2 in a few weeks. But sometimes, I don't even think he totally gets it that I will be pregnant. Mainly because he still asks me, "Where should we go?" or.... he makes statements like, "We really need to plan a homeboi rock off!"...without any mention of, "Oh yeah, YOU'RE gonna be pregnant bytch!!" lol
Oh, all of my Ace's are gay men. I only have one lesbian Ace and she's younger than I am. I haven't even told her yet. So while they are making plans I just sit there and nod and smile and act like I'm amped but I'm really thinking in my head how I won't be able to join them. It's not until little situations like that comes up that I realize I'm about to be pregnant!!
*Sighs*
I'm extremely happy and excited about this journey. I pray I go on to have a happy & healthy pregnancy. I would also be a big fat liar if I didn't acknowledge that thinking about how my social interactions with my friends is gonna change for a while makes me kinda sad. Not sure why. Wellllll, I guess it's because I know things are going to change. The dynamic of how we deal, where we go, what I can do while I'm with them, if I'll even feel like going, if I'll be invited blah blah blah...it's all. gonna. change. At least for a while. I know things will bounce back after I have the baby. I can see that from my wife.....now that Baby C is almost 6 months....things are relatively back to our norm.
Either way.......I'm okay with it all. I just needed to get this emotion out of my mind and into the Universe. Now I feel better.
Kinda.
I've started spotting so CD1 will probably be tomorrow.
All of the donor labs are back free and clear
Only one more period and we insem
I totally understand how you feel because we felt very much the same. Just to prepare you, your friends will treat you different at first. I felt like we stopped getting invited to stuff once G was preggers and for awhile afterward. They figured we didn't want to do party type stuff now that we were parents and we thought they didn't want us around now that we were parents, lol. Once we let our close friends know that we were the same people and that while some things are different, we still need a social life, everything went back to normal.
ReplyDeleteAre you going to have a "Last Call" night out? We did that for my wife and she had so much fun. Every mom-to-be needs that last hurrah, if you ask me. ;)
Thanks so much for the feedback...I plan on doing my "last call" the whole week we are in Disney! lol All the beer and wine I can drink!
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