I'm thankful to announce that my pregnancy has been pretty uneventful. Thank God. Besides the few episodes of heartburn, hip & butt bone pain and still lots of exhaustion, I'm doing very well. Thank GOD for my wife. She's been amazing helping me, letting me rest and explaining things along the way. I have no idea how much weight I've gained and I don't intend to find out. As long as my work clothes still fit.....I'm good. Well, I did get the next size up shirt yesterday but I feel so much better! It's amazing how simply having a shirt that fits comfortably will change your entire mood. I'm happy at work today :-)
I was thinking the other day about just how different this pregnancy is compared to when my wife was pregnant with Baby C. When she was carrying everything was so new and so damn exciting! We were so new to the whole process and in some areas so naive. Oh to be naive again. *sighs* We couldn't WAIT to buy stuff, tell people, go for ultrasounds...just everything! It was just different, the first time.
Now onto baby #2, my pregnancy. Me being the oven. While we are so happy, very thankful and excited....there are different sets of dynamics in place now. One - my age and having to submit aka worry about, genetic testing...blah. Two - we are caring for a busy infant who demands a lot of time & she's so stinkin' cute! Three - it's just not new, the whole lesbian couple having a baby thing. lol Like, we've exposed all of our family & friends to it with my wife so it's not so much a shocker this go'round. lol
I'm really trying to think if we felt these feelings in the beginning of my wife's pregnancy. Like, maybe as the months move forward it will be all exciting and new. Perhaps when we find out the se.x of Sprouty or when I start to really get big. Up until this point it honestly just feels like I'm going thru the motions. Crossing off the days, counting down til the big 12/13 week mark. Kinda like the jailhouse pictures of calendars when inmates are counting down til release. *sighs louder*
Going thru the motions is the best term for where I am right now. I think I will feel more present once we get the results of my MaterniT21 genetic testing. Or, maybe once I feel flutters. Or, maybe when I get big....arghhhhh! Going thru the motions. I'll accept that. One day at a time. I'm scheduled for genetic testing on Dec. 13th.
I really hope this entry isn't reading in a down tone. Because I'm really not. I'm in a good place emotionally, spiritually and physically. I just have to trust God. I guess I'm still in this place of, "I know I'm pregnant, I've heard the heartbeat, I'm getting bigger....but I still just don't feel like I have a human inside of me!" It's really weird. Maybe I should go buy a Doppler? lol I wasn't going to have the NT scan done. I was just going to go for my MaterniT21 test and be done with it all. But now I'm starting to feel like I want to have the NT scan {AFTER I get my genetic results} just to SEE this little baby again! I need to see him/her in there because as I sit here one day shy of 10 weeks pregnant. It still doesn't. seem. real.
Double digits tomorrow! Whooohooooo! Grow Sprout, GROW!
Meditation
God is in control.
It's all out of your control.
Lean on your faith.
This will be a healthy happy pregnancy.
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