25 Weeks & Feeling Every Second Of It

We've reached viability!!! I'm 25 weeks today & I'm so thankful to be here. I do not take this amazing milestone for granted.

 

{Here's where I get transparent for a second}

 

I must admit, I'm slowing down. A lot. I feel very pregnant and it's really real now. My hips hurt. I now have to wear medical scrubs and a polo shirt to work because none of my clothes fit anymore, well my work clothes don't. I have a waddle. My face is filling out. My stomach is in my throat most days & it causes me extreme discomfort. I sometimes feel like my fatigue is coming back just a little. I can't help out at home or at work like I really want to because I get winded so easy and I don't want to put the baby in harms way by doing too much. It's harder to pick my daughter up now...I hate picking stuff up off the floor that I've dropped {it just takes so much effort}....I just feel BIGGER and SLOWER.

All while, when I tell people how far along I am, I get the...."Oh just WAIT, you ain't seen nothin' yet! You're gonna blow up and it's gonna get worse!"

 

SHUT THE F*^% UP!!!!!!!!!!! {Is what I want to say but instead I just smile and shake my head}

 

As a pregnant not-so-femme woman, being pregnant makes me feel vulnerable. It makes me feel like I'm delicate & fragile. I'm not used to feeling like this. I'm not used to LOOKING like this. I mean, I knew I would change, my body would morph....but I don't think you're ever really prepared for just how much you do change in so many ways. Sometimes I feel like crying when I think about just how different I am right now. Other days I'm not phased at all by it.

 

But............. I have to say, I would do it all over again to be exactly where I am. Pains & all. Fatness & all. I would do it again in a heartbeat for us to complete our family. Even with the discomfort and temporary pains {and it really is temporary}, I have an amazing wife who rubs my tired feet & takes awesome care of me, a baby growing inside of me who is healthy and very active, a great job where I can take it easy & take the day off if need be, a wonderful family support system who are so thrilled & excited about this little boy, friends who are just blessings all around to me and my family, a 1 year old precious daughter who gives me crazy kisses and is the joy of my life!! I can't complain with the many blessings surrounding me right now. I can be honest about how I'm feeling on a daily basis but I really can't complain. I'm blessed.

 

With each passing day...with each passing week...I don't for one second take for granted that this little boy is still safe & secure in my womb. I would deal with any amount of discomfort to keep HIM inside and safe. Period. As my wife often says, my only charge right now is to "bake this baby." Weight gain, pains, limited wardrobe etc....it's all for the greater good, our son.

My next goal is 28 weeks. The 3rd trimester.

 

Meditation

 

This journey is not a race.

Surrender the desire to want to control the path & final destination.

Just do what you can...& stay healthy.

 

 

 

 

23 weeks! Saying Bye-Bye to my "Pleasure Harness" & Car Accidents!

 

 

23 Weeks Baby!

 

So, I'm coming up on a major milestone in this pregnancy....viability! Thank GOD! In a few days...at 24 weeks, if something were to happen at least they would try to save my son. For that I am thankful. Keep on cookin' Baby N! I'm still feeling really good and just continuing to take it easy. The baby is more active these days and that gives me so much peace and reassurance.

 

The Accident

 

2 weeks ago a distracted drive slammed into the rear of my car, well my wife's car. I was stopped in traffic and I saw her speeding towards me. There was no place I could go so I just braced myself for the impact. Without going into too much detail, it landed me in labor & delivery at 22 weeks. I was scared. I was pissed & angry at her for being so careless. BUT...I put my feelings aside to focus on my son. That's all I cared about. It was a very scary experience but Baby Boy N and I checked out just fine. Oh, and I'm suing her azz!

 

 

(Disclaimer - This may be the most personal/raw entry to date so you've been warned lol}

 

My Pleasure Harness   ;-(

 

Well folks, I've reached that point. That point where I have to share things in my blog that I would probably only share with my Ace's. I have to be true to this blog & that means sharing experiences from the perspective of the not-so-femme pregnant lesbian.

 

My harness. The pleasure stick. My Manzzzzz! The shyt don't fit anymore! *insert dramatic sigh* #BLOWN! I tried to strap up the other night and when I went to put it on.... my stomach and waist said, "Helllllllll no!" #BLOWN...again.

I mean, I knew it would happen eventually but I guess you are just never prepared for your joint NOT to fit. Come on mannn....It just fit like a week ago!!! So there I was unable to strap up...which means I had nothing to attach my clit suction device to...which means I had to go at it old school = the good ole manual dildo penetration = hella arm work!

Fcuk.

 

BUT......the bright side to all this is.....because I'm so genius and fortunately pretty damn good with the manual stroke {lol}... we had probably one of the BEST sexual episodes since I've been preggers. It was one of those, light a candle, sip a little wine {yes I had a few sips and yes it's okay}, turn on some ebony p-o-r-n, turn on that mood music and crash afterwards episode! Yes, it was that good.

So...to all my not-so-femme lesbians thinking about carrying or those in the process of ttc...all hope is not lost. It will take more work but it's worth it! Damn is it worth it. You just gotta tap into your ole-school manual stroke skills. Ha!

 

With that, I've packed my harness away and said good-bye....for now at least. But I'm kinda turned on by the "new stuff" we tapped into that night so who knows, that may become part of our episodes even after I have the baby. lol

 

I have my 24 week check-up next Thursday so I'm sure the dreaded glucose test is in my near future. My next goal is 28 weeks! Come onnn 3rd Trimester!!

 

That's all for now.......thanks for following my small piece of Blogworld.