Birth Story....Welcoming Our Baby Boy

Today is July 3rd. It was my due date. The day I fantasized over since we got our BFP.

July 3rd, 2014.

I think it's only fitting that I post my birth story today and take some time out to reflect on the most amazing journey of my life. Today our son is 3 weeks old. 

Let me take you back.......................

June 9th, 2014 {36 weeks 4 days / 23 days until my due date) I went to work as usual and like other days I felt so miserable. I could hardly breathe from the pregnancy congestion and there was so much pressure down below. But the difference today was I knew I would be off on 06-10-14 for a routine OB appointment. I was scheduled to have my Group B Strep test done (GBS) and to maybe have a cervical check. I went back and forth about the cervical check and decided I would decline it when I went in. My OB appointment was scheduled for the 10th at 10:15am. When I came home from work I lounged around the house and even bought brownies for my wife to fix. I did notice that simply getting in and out of the car was beginning to be very uncomfortable for me so I also decided that my last day at work would be 06-19-14....that would put me at 38 weeks. My plan was to work until then and take 2 weeks for myself to rest up and get off of my feet for the remainder of my pregnancy. 

"When we are busy making plans.....God laughs."

Later that evening I pulled the hospital bag out and just randomly went through it to make sure we had everything. I now know that was divine intervention.

My wife and I did some stretching before bedtime. My body was so sore and my hips hurt like hell so stretching did provide me a little relief. I thought I heard a "pop" sound while on the floor but nothing happened. We went to bed.

At 12:34am on June 10th, 2014 I woke up from my sleep feeling like I was peeing on myself. I jumped up to try to make it to the bathroom. I figured I had a dream of being in the bathroom and just had an accident. Then I thought maybe Baby Boy N hit my bladder in the right spot and that caused me to pee! As I stood up to go to the bathroom...the fluid just kept pouring. I just stood there and yelled, "Baby I think my water just broke!" My wife jumped up and walked around to my side of the bed. She said, "Baby that's NOT pee...it's not yellow!" lol I then attempted to walk to the bathroom. The fluid was still coming. When we both got to the bathroom and I sat on the toilet, it stopped. So at that point I knew for sure it was just me peeing on myself. I wiped and there was no bloody show....no thick mucus. Just the slippery clear kinda discharge. It looked like "I had a major orgasm" kinda slippery clear discharge. lol I should say that I think I started losing my plug the week before...but it was coming out in small pieces. I had one glob that was kinda weird but nothing that stood out as OMG!

My wife called the on-call OB and told her what was happening. They advised that I could come in at any time. After going back and forth with my wife about going in I decided to go back to sleep. lol Again, I just knew it was just pee. I put a towel between my legs and laid back down in bed. At 1:40am my wife asked was I still leaking. I told her yes but I thought it was again.....pee. lol Let me explain, when you get to the end and you're having to go to the bathroom every 10 minutes it's quite possible to pee on yourself...a lot! I laid there for about 5mins and sat back up in bed. Something inside of me said, "go to the hospital." I figured, if it is just pee let them tell me and then send me home. I also considered just waiting until my 10:15am appointment THAT DAY to be seen! lol I just knew I would be coming back home..........

As my wife sprung to get Baby C together and put the bags in the car I sat on the side of the bed and prayed. Same prayer I prayed just before our first insemination...."Lord, Thy Will be done." In that moment Our lives had come full circle. I also prayed that if this was truly it...that He would protect Baby Boy N and I and keep us both healthy and safe. 

I was having no pains. No nothing...and as we walked out the house I laughed to myself and thought, "I will be back home soon." My plan was to come back home and tell my OB all about my ordeal at my appointment later that morning.

"When we are busy making plans.....God laughs."

We arrive at Labor & Delivery around 2:15-30am. We were laughing and joking the entire time. Just me, my wife and Baby C. We were checked in and when the registration clerk asked why I was there I replied, "I think I pee'd on myself or my water broke...I'm not sure." She laughed and said, "Most of the women who come in saying they are totally sure their water broke end up going back home...and all of the women who think they pee'd on themselves end up staying." LOL I thought...Yeah right.

Still having Zero pain and in a chipper mood. 

They call us to the back for triage & this was the moment of truth. It's around 2:45am at this point. 

The Doctor comes in and asks me a bunch of questions. She then tells me I have to get a cervical check to see if it was in fact my water that broke. My wife sees the look of panic on my face and immediately says, "she had a bad experience with a cervical check that caused her to bleed." The Doctor comforted me and said she would use the smallest speculum they had. My wife can be gangsta when need be! God I love her..lol She stepped in like a BOSS! :-) I braced myself for the check but Before she could even get the speculum in....more fluid gushed out and she was like, "Yep...your water broke I don't need to test!" She then told me she would check to see if there was any dilation. I saw the look on her face and I knew something was up! She shouted, "How long have you been having contractions??" I told her I didn't think I was having any because I was in NO PAIN! She asked how far dilated I was at my last OB appointment? I told her I had never been checked because my appointment was TODAY! All I remember is her saying, "Well you are 4-5cm DILATED already!" WTF!!!!! Then the room was an active L&D site! lol Nurses came from everywhere and I was asked even more questions. My wife started calling our moms and I was just laying there thinking, " Ohhhmyyyygawd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" 

They wheeled me into my L&D room. At this point it was around 3am.  I immediately asked for the epidural! I was still in NO pain but I wasn't taking any damn chances! lol They also gave me antibiotics to be sure since I never made it to my GBS test. Well, after being in the room for about 5mins I began to feel pressure. I got the epidural around 3:30am. The nurse stayed with me while it was being administered because my wife had to step into the hallway with Baby C because our moms had not arrived yet. The Epidural wasn't that bad at all. 

Within minutes our moms walked into the room and I was starting to feel more pressure but I was also starting to feel the Epi kick in. Then the pressure really got to the point where I had to breathe thru it. I finally found out what contractions felt like. I asked the nurse if I could get more Epi juice but she wanted to check me first. My mom was on my left and my wife was to my right. My wife's mom was holding Baby C on the sofa playing with the ipad. 

When the nurse checked me I closed my eyes for a few seconds to brace for the possible pain....when I opened my eyes I asked her how much I progressed? She said, "YOU'RE 10CM!!" I thought, "Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!!???? OMG OMG! My wife said she mouthed to her "he's right there!" Everyone was so shocked that I progressed that fast! The nurses were like, "Your body is a pro at birth and this baby is ready!" I asked if my OB would make it in time to deliver and they told me flat out, "hellll no!" lol Well, they didn't say hell but basically there was no way she would make it in time at the rate things were going. If I hadn't made the decision to go to the hospital I would have been delivering our son at home. This is a fact. Thank God we went when we did. At this point it was around 5am. 

We all screamed and I think I started to cry. Well, yeah I did. I was scared, nervous, excited and shocked all at the same time. My mom was so helpful and supportive. She surprised me. She was rubbing my face with a cold towel, rubbing my arms and telling me to breathe. I thought she wouldn't be able to handle the birth but she really surprised me. I've never felt more close to her than in that moment. My wife was a trooper and also did an amazing job keeping me calm. I just remember thinking how I wanted to make her proud of me. She was such a solider with the birth of our daughter....I just wanted to make her proud. 

This was it! We were about to meet our son! The child we prayed so hard for! 22 days early!!!!!

I pushed 7 times and Baby Boy N came into the world at 5:17am on June 10th, 2014 weighing 6lbs 1oz and 19inches. I cried so hard. I did it! I did it!! Praise GOD! I did what people said I wouldn't do. I carried a child and I pushed him out. I endured the pregnancy! I endured being miserable! I DID it!!!! I was so proud of myself in that moment. I remember just wanting to hold him and smell him! As they cleaned him off I had to get a few stitches. I will forever remember that first moment of skin-to-skin with our son and him rubbing his little fingers on my chest. My mom was so happy. My wife cried. My mother-in-law got to see her first grand-child born and my daughter got to see her baby brother come into the world. So many were blessed by his birth.

I prayed for a pain free easy labor.....and that's what I had. I only labored for 2 hours. There were no complications. Baby Boy N required no NICU time despite coming at 36 weeks 5 days. 22 days early. 2 days shy of full-term. My pregnancy was textbook & uneventful. I prayed for no morning sickness...I had none. I got pregnant on the first try. I prayed for a Boy and we now have our son. God. IS. Amazing. 

To Be Continued..............{The After-Birth Experience}

36 Weeks! The Nursery. & So, It turns into a monster?!

I'm 3 days shy of 36 weeks. Holy MOLY! 31 days until my due date. Yes, 31 days....

Shyt! Just. Got. REAL!

Well..it's been real for a long minute now but considering we found out we were pregnant when Sprouty was like 10mins old...{You know how us lesbians start POAS <peeing on a stick> as SOON as sperm meets egg lol}....But yeah, You get the point.

This baby. Has to come out of. ME. My Vagin.a or tummy cut. Like...He has to come out of my body one way or the other in 31 days, give or take........JESUS BE AN EPIDURAL!!!!!

Why am I so amped today you might be thinking...? Well let's just say I watched a BabyCenter birth video. Whyyyyyyyy did I do that?! I have to many thoughts....thoughts of, How the hell does "it" get SO big....I mean, I was traumatized by those huge lips.... the opening....Howwwwwwwww doesssssss that happen?!?

*Faints*

My wife had a c-section so I didn't experience the whole baby coming out thing.  They cut my babygirl out and I never saw what my wife's lady parts could do. I never saw it turn into a monster. Wait, I never saw her lady parts during the whole process now that I think about it. Mannnnn...it's mind-blowing how "it" can go from regular and cute to a BIG HUGE MONSTER!!!!!!! OMG!

*Faints.......again*

.......well, there's no turning back now and he has to come out. Lord be with me! My next OB appointment is on 06-10-14. I will have the GBS test done and maybe a cervical check. Fun. <sarcasm font>

On a brighter note, the nursery is done, our maternity photo-shoot is done & the bags are all packed. So we are officially on "just waiting for baby" watch. Yiipeee! Here are a few pics of our nursery. Baby Boy & His Big sister will be sharing a room. I can't WAIT for her to meet her little Brother. Ahhhhhhhh!

 

 

That's all for now.........pray for me ya'll :-)

32 weeks! Baby Shower Recap *Picture Heavy*

 

Well...I guess the beans of Baby Boy N's name has been spilled. lol Oh well.

 

First: Thanks so much for all the positive feedback on my last entry, the letter to my son. It was an emotional entry for me and that whole day was just full of tears of joy & thankfulness. Thank you all. I appreciate it.

-------------------------

 

Our shower was awesome! Honestly it was way more than we expected. It was such a blessing. I still can't believe I will be 32 weeks tomorrow and the shower has already come and gone. The theme of the shower & the nursery is Monster's Inc. We LOVE how it all came together. My best friend's, my wife's best friend and my family did everything for the shower. My wife's family bought enough clothes to last Baby Boy a lifetime. Again, we were so blessed.

 

Everyone really showed up & showed out for us and it was actually kinda bittersweet. I guess because this is the last time we will experience a shower. A new baby. Pregnancy. This part of our journey is all over for us. When the little guy arrives.....that's it. So while we are enjoying the last few weeks of pregnancy and nesting...we are also looking forward to our new life with two kids & no more pregnancies.

 

I get my wife back. My body back. Her body back *evil laugh* My Beer back. My physical abilities back. My energy back. ME BACKKKK! You get the picture.......

 

I did have a semi-meltdown this past weekend because I was just miserable. I've been suffering from pregnancy rhinitis since 18 weeks 1 day {basically congestion and I can't breathe without using nasal spray}, I get tired so quickly and I was just so overwhelmed. I felt bad about complaining because I know so many women want so badly to be in my shoes...I didn't want to sound ungrateful. I am grateful. We prayed for this pregnancy & our baby like everyone else...but it still doesn't negate the fact that I'm human & making a baby is the hardest task EVER! And...I'm allowed to complain every now and again. It's healthy to let it out....

 

As far as the baby news goes....He's VERY active and we are both doing well. God is good. I had my 31 week appointment the other day. He's measuring right on target. I won't go back again until 35 weeks. We have 57 days left! Whoa! I think he's head down because I now feel his hiccups down low and kicks up high near my ribs. He loves to snuggle on my right side & moves constantly. He always reminds me that he's there. I love it & I'm enjoying the last few days with him in my womb.

 

Here are some pics from our baby shower. I think it turned out super cute. I tried to snap as many pics as I could before everyone showed up. I'm glad I did. I had to capture all the wonderful details that made our day so special. We received TONS of gifts! Like, we really don't need anything else because we are all set. I feel blessed beyond measure.

 

I hope you enjoy!

 

 

 

23 weeks! Saying Bye-Bye to my "Pleasure Harness" & Car Accidents!

 

 

23 Weeks Baby!

 

So, I'm coming up on a major milestone in this pregnancy....viability! Thank GOD! In a few days...at 24 weeks, if something were to happen at least they would try to save my son. For that I am thankful. Keep on cookin' Baby N! I'm still feeling really good and just continuing to take it easy. The baby is more active these days and that gives me so much peace and reassurance.

 

The Accident

 

2 weeks ago a distracted drive slammed into the rear of my car, well my wife's car. I was stopped in traffic and I saw her speeding towards me. There was no place I could go so I just braced myself for the impact. Without going into too much detail, it landed me in labor & delivery at 22 weeks. I was scared. I was pissed & angry at her for being so careless. BUT...I put my feelings aside to focus on my son. That's all I cared about. It was a very scary experience but Baby Boy N and I checked out just fine. Oh, and I'm suing her azz!

 

 

(Disclaimer - This may be the most personal/raw entry to date so you've been warned lol}

 

My Pleasure Harness   ;-(

 

Well folks, I've reached that point. That point where I have to share things in my blog that I would probably only share with my Ace's. I have to be true to this blog & that means sharing experiences from the perspective of the not-so-femme pregnant lesbian.

 

My harness. The pleasure stick. My Manzzzzz! The shyt don't fit anymore! *insert dramatic sigh* #BLOWN! I tried to strap up the other night and when I went to put it on.... my stomach and waist said, "Helllllllll no!" #BLOWN...again.

I mean, I knew it would happen eventually but I guess you are just never prepared for your joint NOT to fit. Come on mannn....It just fit like a week ago!!! So there I was unable to strap up...which means I had nothing to attach my clit suction device to...which means I had to go at it old school = the good ole manual dildo penetration = hella arm work!

Fcuk.

 

BUT......the bright side to all this is.....because I'm so genius and fortunately pretty damn good with the manual stroke {lol}... we had probably one of the BEST sexual episodes since I've been preggers. It was one of those, light a candle, sip a little wine {yes I had a few sips and yes it's okay}, turn on some ebony p-o-r-n, turn on that mood music and crash afterwards episode! Yes, it was that good.

So...to all my not-so-femme lesbians thinking about carrying or those in the process of ttc...all hope is not lost. It will take more work but it's worth it! Damn is it worth it. You just gotta tap into your ole-school manual stroke skills. Ha!

 

With that, I've packed my harness away and said good-bye....for now at least. But I'm kinda turned on by the "new stuff" we tapped into that night so who knows, that may become part of our episodes even after I have the baby. lol

 

I have my 24 week check-up next Thursday so I'm sure the dreaded glucose test is in my near future. My next goal is 28 weeks! Come onnn 3rd Trimester!!

 

That's all for now.......thanks for following my small piece of Blogworld.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Final Beta Results! 4weeks 1 day

I can hardly type this because I'm so excited! I can tell you one thing, while I do pray on the regular outside of being pregnant...I've found myself praying extra hard these past few days. Really hard. Mainly because long before we actually started trying, well... back when my wife was going thru this process with Baby C, TTC showed me just how NOT in control of life we actually are. No matter how much we plan, time insems or anything else. I have to just trust and lean on God that everything will all work out and I will have a happy & healthy 9 months. I have to trust that because if not this process will literally drive me crazy mentally, emotionally and physically.

 

Here are the Results:

 

1st Beta (October 21st, 2013)

 

HCG - 50.7

Progesterone  - 13.5

 

*Due to low progesterone I was instructed to increase from one suppository to 2 at bedtime.*

 

2nd Beta (October 23rd, 2013)

 

HCG - 158

Progesterone  - 18

 

3rd *And Final Beta* (October 25th, 2013)

 

HCG - 418!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Progesterone - Nurse just said "almost 20" So I'm assuming 19 something

 

We are scheduled for our first ultrasound on next Wednesday! I have been experiencing waves of nausea since 3weeks preggers. It is progressively getting worse. Especially on my ride to work in the morning. It's not horrible just yet but I will be dusting off the seabands and keeping some crackers nearby just in case. The only symptom so far is extreme fatigue. I could literally sleep the day away while watching the Halloween Movie marathons that are on these days. Other than that I'm feeling well and just trying to eat healthy and REST. Grow Sprout GROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Thank. You. Lord.

 

....And thank all of you for the messages and well wishes. I'm still struggling a little with BFP guilt but I continue to pray for all of you out there still waiting for that magical moment.

The Results are in.....the TWW is Over!

BFP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! On the FIRST Try!

 

I'm still in shock and I thank God. My eggs aren't scrambled afterall! I was mentally prepared for it not to work the first time and even told myself getting pregnant on the 1st try was really unrealistic. At 36 soon to be 37 in November I successfully got pregnant on the first try with no meds & no monitoring. God is Good.

 

Here's how it went down

 

So, you all know I started taking the pro.gesterone suppositories at 3dpo. I felt like we had perfect timing for our insems. We did our inseminations on CD12 (we received the first smiley at 8:30pm on CD12), CD13 & CD14. One at 5pm and the other 2 around 8pm-9pm.

 

I did document "symptoms" but I really thought what little symptoms I did have were all due to the progesterone. I was bummed because I didn't feel pregnant. There were a few that stood out tho....

1. Neon Yellow Urine

2. Bleeding Gums (I had it one morning then it stopped)

3. NO cervical mucus

4. A little bloody ewcm on 8dpo

5. A LOT of ewcm at 9dpo (I never have ewcm this late in my cycle)

6. Constant Dreaming!!!! OMG!

7. This may be TMI but.... at 10dpo I had an orgasm in my sleep. Yep. Weird.

8. Very very very emotional

9. Sleepy alllllll of the time.

10. The smell of my coffee almost made me gag. I LOVE coffee.

 

Again....these were the ones that stood out as "maybe" it worked BUT I felt fine otherwise. There were a few moments of me feeling kinda "sick" but with the pro.gesterone I really thought it was because of that. I was actually getting sad close to test day because I thought for sure I would be feeling different and I really didn't. Plus when I read about so many women having increased creamy cm and I had literally NONE I thought for sure I was out. My wife pointed out that she suspected something when I was always sleep for the 11pm news. This is HUGE because I watch the news every night. But the days leading up to test day I crashed by 10pm at the latest.

 

TEST DAY

Then came test day.... I woke up on 11dpo and took a First Response HPT. My wife and I decided to wait to test and 11dpo was the date we selected. At 5am the test was negative. Stark white. Nothing. I was ok...my wife was very sad. Which in turn made me sad. I told her I wanted to stop the progesterone to allow my cycle to start. If I wasn't pregnant no sense in dealing with them another day and delaying our next attempt. She told me to call the nurse when the fertility clinic opened at 9am. I did. I told the nurse I took a pregnancy test at 5am and it was negative and asked her if I should stop taking the progesterone or wait until 14dpo like my Doctor instructed. Mind you...I was supposed to come on the next day at 12dpo so I told her I know my test would be positive by now because I'm supposed to come on tomorrow. She said, "Keep taking the progesterone. It's still early. You've added progesterone to the mix and that could change things. So, wait a few more days and you may be calling me back with good news." I thought....yeah right.

 

I went to the dollar store at 11:30am to pick up more tests. I felt like we had better luck with those test when my wife was preggers. She got her BFP at 9dpo. I stopped for lunch and headed back to the job. I looked at the test and thought..."let me just take one now. I'm sure it will be negative but oh well..." I went to the bathroom at work and took the test. I brought the test to my desk. Gross, I know, but I used antibacterial wipes. Whatever. I let the test sit and I looked at it and thought I was seeing things. This was at 12noon. I used the flashlight on my iphone and instantly started shaking. I called my wife and could hardly get the words out. I said, "BABY!!!!!! OMG! I THINK I SEE SOMETHING ON THE TEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" It was faint. But there was a line. I snapped a pic and sent it to her phone.

Immediately she responded, "I see it too OMG!!!!!!!!!"

 

I sent the pic to a dear friend of ours who is like family because she was soooo instrumental in our TTC journey with #1, Baby girl.... I sent it to her because I just knew it was an evap line. There was just no way. I've never seen an evap line so I really just wanted to make sure this wasn't it! She replied back, "HOLY SHYT! That's NO evap line it has color!! You're preggers!!!!" I just sat there in shock and still not believing what had just happened.

 

I just knew when I woke up at 7am the next morning it would be gone. But it wasn't. It was still there and I was thankful beyond words that it was.

 

Guilt

There was a part of me that felt kinda guilty. Guilty that some women have to endure months even years to get pregnant. They have to endure all kinds of tests and medication. And sometimes it still doesn't happen for them. Like, I feel so blessed that I didn't have to go thru any of that. I just thank God for everything. I said a silent prayer for those women I know who are going thru this. Praying they get their BFP soon. Praying they get to experience this moment and this feeling.

 

My first BETA was this morning and the numbers was: 50.7 HCG

Here is a quote from my Blog Dated 07-29-13: "Mark this day......7-29-13.....something tells me I'm gonna get pregnant the first try, or at max 3. I don't know what it is...but something internal tells me that it's gonna happen pretty quickly for me. It makes me excited and nervous at the SAME DAMN TIME! If it's gonna happen fast I would rather it happen first try....reason being, I'm not planning on telling family and friends until after our NT scan...which will put us in January. My moms birthday is the 11th so it would be a really nice birthday gift for her. But we shall see."

Thank. You. Lord.

Please continue to send prayer, positive energy, light and sticky baby dust our way. It really is appreciated and felt.

 

TTC: One down. Things you MUST consider during insems!

Yesterday was CD12. I started testing at CD7. All negative. While at work yesterday I called my wife and told her my morning and my afternoon opks were both negative but I felt something was happening or about to happen in baby making region. We went back and forth a little bit as to whether or not we should do an insem or not even though I didn't have a smiley yet. We decided to just go for it.....we figured, what the heck?!

 

I came home and got myself together. We contacted the donor and then waited. Less than an hour after speaking with him, the doorbell was ringing. We all sat around for a bit catching up and sharing a few laughs about us being "here" again and then I went to the bathroom. {TMI} Different from earlier in the day I had some tacky stretchy but clearish cervical fluid. I immediately said to myself, "yeah...I'm glad we decided to do this tonight because something is indeed about to happen." I told my wife to get the preseed so I could insert it while we were all sitting around talking. Then I went back to our bedroom.

 

I said a little prayer and then my wife and Baby C came into the bedroom. We kissed each other...Baby C rubbed my belly for good luck baby dust and then my wife took the donor all his "products." He did his duty...he called out to my wife, "Special delivery" lol...and then she went to put Baby C in her crib and get the goods. I could tell she was nervous but she did great! She was very gentle and all I remember thinking was, "Lord, Thy Will Be done." 

 

Here's the funny part (close your ears kids)........after all the goods were inside of me, I was like, "You know what comes next"...I said... "I wanna feel you on me so I can........y'all know.......lol She went to straddle me and I suddenly blocked my woman region with my hand like "Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo wayment!! Are you ovulating too!?! Get Offffaaaa me before we BOTH end up pregnant!!" Ahahahahahaaaaaa! Pure Lesbian comedy. Anyway, we made skin contact (away from her woman region)...I released....we wanted to make sure to get the swimmers up there. Afterwards I put my legs up for about 15mintes. We had already put the instead cup in so things were nice and capped off. My wife went back into the living room and her and the donor chatted a bit more then he left. We inseminated at 5pm.

 

I decided to do another opk at at 8:30PM just to check to see if there were any changes since my 1pm test and WE GOT A SMILEY!!!!!!!!!! All I remember is gasping for breath and yelling out to my wife! She was like, "what's wrong!?" I said..."the test is positive! We got a smiley!!" Her reply, "Oh MY GAWD!!" lol

 

Here is a screenshot from my iperiod app from yesterday. lol I'm so thankful I started testing early AND that I tested twice per day instead of once!

 

 

So......one insem down and two more to go! Then we are off to the land of the TWW! I will start my pro.gesterone on Thursday. Please send us BLUE sticky baby dust!

 

 

 

 

TTC: No Turning Back Now!

So I lied. I thought I wasn't going to blog until after insems and testing but I had to update you all and document where I am today......

 

 

1st - Disney was GREAT! I had all my "Last Call" festivities and sipped my last beer last Thursday.

 

2nd - I had my FIRST non-alcoholic Brew yesterday. O'Douls. It was special. Verrrry special. Not bad. But Not Bud Ice or Miller Light. Let's just say I'm in the experimental stage of finding which one will be my bff for the next year. Plus, once we actually insem I will ONLY drink the non-alcoholic brews that are truly 100% non-alcoholic.

 

I am officially on CD6. Yikes Smikes! This means we will inseminate next Sunday - Tuesday & Wednesday. This may change to Monday - Tuesday & Wednesday depending on when I get the first smiley. I called in my script for the pro.gesterone yesterday so I'm just waiting for the call to come pick it up. Donor is all set to go and he has our tentative ovula.tion schedule. We have our sterile specimen cups, instead cups to keep the swimmers in, ovulation kit(s), syringes, hip raising pillow, vibrator {evil laugh} and all other baby making kit items ready to go. I'm eating the "Boy Diet" and I've started meditating and speaking to our unborn child. We are now just waiting for the smile. Then it's on to the TWW. Blah.

FYI - I will NOT be testing before my cycle is due. Nope. Not gonna do it. So I won't know if it's two pink lines or clean smooth white until the very end of the tww.

 

-Sidebar- Oh, so....I was all good about this whole ttc #2 thing and not having anyyyy second thoughts until we got back from Orlando! I guess that's when shyt got real in my mind that this was about to happen. All of a sudden thoughts hit me. Yeah, thoughts...we all know when you are voluntarily giving up life as you know it {even when it's for something as amazing as a baby} the last thing you want to start doing is THINKING! Is this the right time for Baby #2, How will Baby C adjust? Will our marriage take a hit dealing with two kiddos? Finances, oh LAWD finances!? Sleep!? Fun?! Two kids?! Doctors appointments?! Tests?! PAINNNN??!! Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!?

 

While I quickly stopped thinking.....It was so good to have a conversation with my wife about my concerns, fears etc and have her to talk me off the thinking ledge. Don't wanna go there again. lol So thankful I had the common sense to marry well. Very well. She's my sanity. We talk about everything and our marriage is solid. For that I am truly thankful and extremely blessed.

 

Truth is...there's never really a perfect time to have one or two or three or how ever many kids folks opt to partake in. Really..I mean come on. Life in itself throws so many curve balls you'll never really BE ready 100%... because as well know there will always be something looming. Not saying you shouldn't use common sense when opting into parenthood but I'm just sayin' you'll never be at 100% on the nothing going on so let's have a kid(s) scale. 

 

6 Days until Inseminations.

 

 

TTC: Updates and Last Calls. It's finally here!!

One of my blogger friends introduced me to the term, "Last Call" party as it relates to the last time you'll indulge in the sweet calming taste of a cocktail or beer for a loooooooong time while under baby making construction. lol I liked it so much I decided to have not one but TWO last call celebrations to mark this monumental journey. One with my friends.....then one with my wife. 

The one with my friends was this past weekend. We booked our hotel, stopped by the local wine and spirits store....and hit the open road to Philadelphia! Awesome road trip with the sole purpose of spending some quality time alone with my crew. This would be the last time I would be drinking with them as my wife, Baby C and I leave for magical Disney this week. After that...we insem so no more alcohol for me until at least 6-8 weeks postpartum. 

I must admit this trip did feel different from all the others. One because now I'm a mother and two because I had all these mixed emotions swirling around inside me surrounding the purpose of the trip. What it represented.... what was about to happen in my life and how this is indeed going to change me as a person. This journey is huge and I know that me as I know me will never be the same after this experience. I felt excited, super amped, happy...but a little sad, somber and internally teary at the same time. It was so weird. I did get over the latter feelings as the trip progressed but at least until we reached the Delaware Memorial Bridge...they were there and in full force. 

I learned 2 things while on this trip: 

1. I could actually never drink liquor again and be okay with it. Beer, wine and champagne all satisfy me so I'm good with the no liquor part. I mean, there is still a soft spot in my heart for my beloved Grand Marnier but I don't crave it anymore since giving up liquor back in May. Beer will no doubt be the hardest for me to give up. {insert the saddest face ever seen on the planet <---here---}

2. I do NOT miss the club scene! Sheesh! We decided to hit a few spots while in Philly just to experience the gay nightlife and I was literally standing there posted up with my beer in my hand, looking fly as ever, thinking, "I would really rather be home in bed in some warm comfy PJ's spooning my wife!" Well, not totally spooning...some other things too but you get my point. Watching all that azz grind to reggae made me feel some kinda way and miss my wife! ((swoons)) ....I'm looking at these people and shaking my head because the club scene is so wack now! Maybe it's because I'm married with no real desire to be there, maybe it's because I have a kid now...or maybe it's just because I've done all that stuff when I was younger. Needless to say, we went to the club just to go because we were in a new city but the scene don't change. I'm so thankful that's not my life anymore. I would be totally sad. A few chicks eye'd and attempted to get my attention -sidebar- {I realllllly think my wedding ring is a lady magnet}......but I just kindly kept it moving. 

Oh, and not to mention I was soooooooo sleeeeepy!! lol I'm not used to be alive and woke after 1am! I'm a mom so whatevaaaaaa! Unless it's for the brief moments my wife feeds Baby C in the middle of the night! But like, dressed, outside, in clothes, talking?!?! Hellll no! lol I was so ready to go back to the hotel and CRASH! Smh...

I'm ready for my last call moments with my wife while on vacation. The one where it's with the woman I love, over dinner...and great conversation. The last call moments with the woman who will be my rock and biggest support thru this process. Yes, I enjoyed the one with my friends but having that last sip of wine with my wife is just really something special to me. 

I'm not sure when I'll be blogging again. We have an appointment with the RE today. I may try to do a quick update about that visit before we leave for vacation but I'm not sure if I'll get the time. This is it ya'll....I've been counting down since May for this amazing journey and it's here. Please pray for me and my lil family as we dive head-first back into actively ttc for Baby #2. 

TTC: The Diet that Makes BOYS!! -or foolishness?

Today is CD9 and I will start testing with the smiley’s today with evening urine. I’m pretty sure nothing is happening in the lady regions today because there is little to no cervical fluid and my appetite is not ferocious. CD9 is really early in my cycle so no worries about missing ovulation.

24 days until we insem. TWENTY-FOUR DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We leave for Disney next week and I’m so damn excited! A week of just me and my two girls {My wife and Baby C}, fun, sun, white sand beaches, meeting up with great friends, tropical drinks, relaxation and the magic of Disney! How awesome is that!?

Now, the reason for this post. The Boy Diet. We realllllllllllly want a little boy this time. While we will be extremely grateful and thankful to God for simply another healthy child, our first preference this time is a boy. So, I’ve started searching the internet for “ways to conceive a boy” and I was really shocked at how many hits I got! Some saying they have tried it and had success and other's who say it’s a crock of bull. While I’m not putting too much stock in this I do feel like…what the hell…it’s worth a try! Lol Even if it is just for shyts and giggles. Have any of you tried this diet and it actually worked? Or did you try it and it was “a crock of bull?” lol

The crazy thing is my diet already mirrors the “boy diet.” Which is high potassium, coffee, salt, fish, red meat and low dairy, just to name a few. The only thing I would need to cut back on are the eggs. I can push down 4 eggs in one sitting, easily. Don’t judge me I’m a growing Boi. *smile* Mommy N’s diet mirrors the “girl diet” and we all know how that played out! #TeamGirl…Baby C! Her diet is basically stuff like unsalted butter, garlic, onions, little to no meat...etc. Coincidence? Not sure…but again, it’s worth a shot.

The recommendations I've read thus far say to start the diet one month before you TTC until you're pregnant. I mentioned it to our donor and he said, "Oh, I already eat LOTS of bananas and meat so I hope that helpsyou ladies get your boy!" This Guy....smh lol

While I'm excited and tickled about taking part in this little experiment I also know that the ultimate sex of our baby #2 will be determined by God. Period. If it works...a boy was supposed to be here anyway...If it doesn't...same logic applies. Either way...I'm blessed if this process results in a successful, healthy, non-eventful pregnancy. 

Two new items will be in our luggage for this Disney trip: Clear.Blue easy fertility monitor & the Clear.Blue easy smiley's. Holy crap! This is really about to happen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RE Appointment for the pro.gestrone suppositories is 09-16th....

My Body Knows what its supposed to do......

Everything will work out, Trust God.......

My eggs are fine........

I'm not that old.........

TTC: I'm Out of Commission.

.

So, the only thing I never thought about was how I would handle my friends making plans to go on what we call "homboi rock off trips." Homeboi rock off's are once-a-year trips that are fun, crazy and usually in cities that offer an exciting gay scene. Atlanta, Houston, New York, Philly..........you get the point. We all pitch in planning every aspect of the trip. The hotel, who's gonna rent the car...the entertainment and everything. It's just our way to get away from all the hustle and grind of every day life and have fun with each other for a weekend. We are few but extremely close. I love them. 

But here's the thing.................my wife and I had a BBQ for the holiday and the topic of the next homeboi rock off trip came up. One nominated Sizzle (Miami), one nominated Houston....again......Chicago and some other places. For a quick moment I felt kinda sad. I wasn't very talkative in that conversation and my mind honestly drifted off. My thoughts? I can't make plans to go because I probably won't be able to go this year. I will be pregnant and out of commission for awhile. Yeah, I felt kinda sad. 

Only one of my Ace's knows that my wife and I are planning to start TTC #2 in a few weeks. But sometimes, I don't even think he totally gets it that I will be pregnant. Mainly because he still asks me, "Where should we go?" or.... he makes statements like, "We really need to plan a homeboi rock off!"...without any mention of, "Oh yeah, YOU'RE gonna be pregnant bytch!!" lol 

Oh, all of my Ace's are gay men. I only have one lesbian Ace and she's younger than I am. I haven't even told her yet. So while they are making plans I just sit there and nod and smile and act like I'm amped but I'm really thinking in my head how I won't be able to join them. It's not until little situations like that comes up that I realize I'm about to be pregnant!!

*Sighs* 

I'm extremely happy and excited about this journey. I pray I go on to have a happy & healthy pregnancy. I would also be a big fat liar if I didn't acknowledge that thinking about how my social interactions with my friends is gonna change for a while makes me kinda sad. Not sure why. Wellllll, I guess it's because I know things are going to change. The dynamic of how we deal, where we go, what I can do while I'm with them, if I'll even feel like going, if I'll be invited blah blah blah...it's all. gonna. change. At least for a while. I know things will bounce back after I have the baby. I can see that from my wife.....now that Baby C is almost 6 months....things are relatively back to our norm. 

Either way.......I'm okay with it all. I just needed to get this emotion out of my mind and into the Universe. Now I feel better. 

Kinda.

I've started spotting so CD1 will probably be tomorrow. 

All of the donor labs are back free and clear

Only one more period and we insem

TTC: Making a Rainbow Baby = Donor and Timing

Our donor has completed his medical workup. There are only 2 tests still pending & we should have them in a week. We won't need the sickle cell screening this time because we had him tested with Baby C {he's not a carrier} and neither am I.

Me: "OMG...5 weeks til "hell week!" Are you ready?! {hell week is what we call insemination week because he always complained about the preseed feeling like he was rubbing his man parts with razor blades. Ahahahahaaaa! He hated using preseed as lube but we wanted to make sure our little swimmers were not damaged by regular lube.}
Him: "Wow! I really hope it takes the first time and I hope ya'll get your boy!"

Can I tell ya'll I LOVE our donor. We made the best choice ever and it truly is such a relief! We've heard so many horror stories about known donors but ours is the BEST! Throughout the whole process with Baby C he was compliant and reliable. From hell week inseminations, to legal stuff with our second-parent adoption. We scheduled appointments, he was there. We needed something notarized, he was there. The whole process for us was stress free and smooth. I thank God for that. 

I have an appointment scheduled with the RE on September 16th. Not sure why I need to actually see her for the pro.gestrone prescription but I am secretly hoping she does an ultrasound that day just so I can see how my follies and eggs are doing. We leave for vacation the following week and then we insem so having an ultrasound done on that visit would be beneficial. If I start my cycle on the 3rd of September as predicted, the 16th will be CD13 and I would LOVE to see what's happening in the baby making region via ultrasound that far into my cycle. The last time we saw the RE was on July 3rd {CD10} and there was a 16mm on the left. The opk showed an extremely strong positive two days later on CD12 that month. So we shall see.......

Mommy N - She's just so tickled by the whole thing. I can tell she's getting excited and really looking forward to being on the other end of the syringe. lol I joke with her all the time that now we are pro's with insems and she's gonna knock me up the first time. She's so cute. I love her. I can't imagine going along this journey with anyone else. Thank GOD I didn't have kids with any of my ex's. *looks up at the sky - Thanks Big Guy! -winks-* 

She's such an amazing mom to Baby C and I'm so blessed to have her as my wife and my bestfriend. 

Baby C - I know I rarely speak about her in detail on this blog. Mainly because my wife has a blog and when she does blog -sarcasm font- (yes, that was shade lol) she covers Baby C news over there. I won't link her blog here because then my identity will be compromised. lol 

But yeah....Baby C is growing like a weed and my wife and I are confident that the timing is right to start TTC #2. We didn't want to take away from our daughter by adding the pressure of TTC another kid before now. We wanted to allow us time to be the mommies of ONE kid. TTC can take over your life, I'm sure some of you can relate to that....and we just wanted things to be calm and semi-back to normal before taking that journey again. Now we feel the timing is right and we are mentally and emotionally prepared to start. 

Today is CD18
My boobs are starting to get sore.
My cycle is expected in 6 days.
I have little to none cervical fluid.
One more period.....then we introduce sperm. 

TTC: It's Positive....really positive.

There are now 5 weeks until we inseminate. I tested from CD10 until this morning, CD16. The test were all negative on CD10, CD11, CD12 & CD13. However, on CD13 @ 11:30pm I tested and noticed while the test was negative it was in fact getting darker. Oh, and although it was negative {TMI Alert}....I had LOTS of ewcm. Great sign that something was gearing to happen. 

So.......

I had a VERY vivid dream the morning of CD14 that I was ovulating and my test was positive. I woke up...went to the bathroom and as I was testing and yelling into the bedroom telling my wife about the dream...I put a few drops on the test and before I could even get the whole dream/story out I saw the test line get extremely dark. I laughed. My test line was SO dark it almost looked black. Wowzers! 

I took the test in the bedroom so my wife could see it and she was like, "ohhhhh yeahhhh, let's insem today!!!" 

***TIRES SCREECH*** 

Girl BYE! I have FIVE more weeks of beer and wine drinking to do! 

Yes, I'm counting down and Yes...I'm drinking 40oz's...did I tell y'all I love beer? Oh well, yeah...I plan on spending quality time drinking my cold brews and even trying new beers! Yes, I love beer. Oh wait, I already said that. lol

-Sidebar- About us and vivid dreams....the month my wife got her BFP, we BOTH had dreams the test was positive before we tested. It was crazy because she even had a dream of how it was going to happen...with her peeing in the cup but ME actually doing the test. The month we got our BFP with Baby C, my wife pee'd in the specimen cup but came back to bed. I got up later to let the dog out...saw the urine sitting there in the bathroom and did the test. I yelled for her to come look because I thought I saw a line! She came running! Needless to say it was indeed a line and we have an amazing 5 month old now. 

Anywhoo.......I tested on CD15 @ 6:20am...still positive but not as dark as the day before (CD14). By this morning, CD16...it is negative. According to my app my cycle is expected to start in 8 more days...September 3rd. 

No word about the job as of yet so we are proceeding as planned.................if I receive any news I will be sure to update you all. Thanks again for all the encouraging words. It does help me maintain my sanity!